A young woman's sex life is cut short; a gun enthusiast is no match for a rattlesnake; a bug collector is bitten by a black widow.

Ways to Die: "Semi-cide" (#208), "Constriction Accident" (#422), "Fang Banged" (#92), "Lesbocution" (#832), "Love Bugged" (#125), "Tumble Die" (#640)

A dim-witted meat packer gets his boss' granddaughter pregnant and then meets his fate in a mysteriously locked freezer. Three buddies find out - the hard way - you're not supposed to scuba dive and fly the same day. Man in homemade merman suit tries to swim with the fishes and winds up sleeping with them instead.

Ways to Die: "Freeze Died" (#293), "Dive Bombed" (#713), "De-Coffinated" (#91), "Wet Dream" (#606), "Fur Burger" (#112)

A lawyer who winds up taking a fall, a wood chipper gets a manly appetite, two crazy co-eds who thinks life's a gas, a Texan's hot wife gives him the hives, the sword swallower bites off more than he can chew, and a sexaholic goes organic.

Ways to Die: "Habeas Corpse" (#64), "Chippin' Dale" (#288), "Gasketballed" (#226), "Me So Hornet" (#199), "Dumbrella" (#952), "Killdo" (#674), "S*** Dead" (#743)

A smoker gets flamed, a beautiful dreamer who can't wake up, an inmate gets caught in a broken wire, freaks in animal suits do wild things, a pool-shot that cannot swallow, and peeping perverts, the ultimate night shack.

Ways to Die: "Butt F***ed" (#316), "Frightmare" (#818), "Oprah Winfried" (#94), "Em-Bear-Assed" (#412), "Midnight Choker" (#625), "Window Pained" (#269), "Broke-Back Cowboy" (#133)

A junkie who loved injury, a man who loves women instead of toilets, a man who knew guns were dangerous, a man gets the alcohol down his liver, a man who loves javelin gets poked, and a man gets rubbered out.

Ways to Die: "Wel-dead" (#504), "Trailer Trashed" (#230), "Nite Capped" (#171), "Sh*t Faced" (#385), "Dead Eye" (#197), "Domin-a-Dead" (#319), "My Will be done-immediately!" (#93)

A man with anger issues falls into a vat of hydrochloric acid after attacking his former boss, a supermodel with bulimia dies after an eating binge, and a pornography addict impales himself after overfilling a tire until it explodes.

Ways to Die: "Deep Fried" (#610), "Gorgeous Gorge" (#892), "Re-Tired" (#347), "Botoxicated" (#652), "Choke-A-Lot" (#498), "Sex Ray" (#629), "Last Strike" (#200)

A farmhand gets into trouble with the farmer's daughter; raw snails; a magician bites the bullet.

Ways to Die: "Dung For" (#314), "Brain Worms" (#622), "Abracadaver" (#401), "Weed Whacked" (#429), "Rebel Without A Pulse" (#221), "Kill Basa" (#510), "Wanted Instead" (#364)

A paranoid survivalist has a run in with a snake; a shoplifter jumps in a dumpster and winds up getting trashed; a cute girl catches a big one – down her throat; and a fish tale that's hard to swallow.

Ways to Die: "Face Offed" (#770), "Re-Coiled" (#47), "Sucked Offed" (#301), "Re-Formed" (#312), "Fin-ished" (#963), "Butt Plugged" (#553), "Found D-eat" (#256)

A narcoleptic falls asleep on the job; a biker drinks gasoline; and a couple die after making love.

Ways to Die: "Gas-Hole" (#502), "Ichiboned" (#1), "Jake N' Baked" (#518), "Die It" (#734), "Pained Gun" (#499), "Deadliest Catch" (#283), "Great Hanged" (#434)

A group of rednecks get into fatal trouble while celebrating the 4th of July, and a pair of heavy metal enthusiasts discover the hidden dangers of head banging.

Ways to Die: "Red, White and Blew" (#77), "Bank Ruptured" (#756), "Guitar Zeros" (#66), "Radium Girls" (#196), "Oz Holed" (#638), "Tanked Girl" (#710), "Law and OrDead" (#909)

An overeater goes belly up; a bodybuilder juices and loses; a young couple text themselves – to death; a golfer has a 'rough' round; a car thief gets left hanging; and a drunk clown pops his own balloon.

Ways to Die: "Gut Busted" (#117), "DestRoid" (#417), "Text Dead" (#78), "Pissed Off" (#210), "Car Jacked" (#222), "Blown Job" (#401), "Paintful Death" (#192)

A fatal colonic; a delayed reaction to death; and a hot dog thief chokes to death.

Ways to Die: "Water Logged" (#447), "Funny Boned" (#302), "Bowed Out" (#72), "You're So Vein" (#277), "Doggie Style" (#85), "Heart On" (#403)

A woman's breast implants lead to her unexpected death during a flight; marijuana and a forklift combine to cause a young man's demise.

Chubby chaser lands a big one, frat boy suffers frat burn, a fiddler hits a bad note, an ex-con gets exterminated, a French maid dusts off the boss, mobsters lose face and a limp lover goes down hard.

A hot nurse strips down, two trippers get needled, a biker chick goes down, a hold up gets messed up, a hockey fight gets bloody and a raccoon lover is smitten and bitten.

A thief hides in a car wash with deadly consequences, and a man caught cheating at a cock fight is killed by his own rooster.

A rapist makes a fatal error when he attacks a cross-dressing boxer, and the unexpected dangers of hula and belly dancing are explained.

An anal compulsive turns repulsive; a purse snatcher takes a fall; a weightlifter loses his grip; a young goth gets exorcised; a smoker gets smoked; two dopes do themselves (in); a cow lover gets milked.

A little person swallows a harp; a cute bliss seeker gets tanked; a mean hubby goes over the edge; a guitar player gets unplugged; a gold digger digs her own grave; a dumb thief breaks his numbskull; a spurned lover gets trashed.

A group of hot cheerleaders get buzzed; a B-52 goes down in flames; a speed freak blows his mind; a cat hater gets his head handed to him; a health nut gets ratted out; a golfing couple has some bad fore play.

A nagging housewife blows her own fuse; a construction worker takes a deadly bathroom break; a stowaway gets his ass-sets frozen; a cheating gambler gets squeezed and an acupuncture patient misses the point.

A moron gets smoked by cigarettes; a remote glider crashes into the owner; a reject boyfriend gets rejected; a dog walker gets hounded to death; a biker causes a riot and the Samurai Death Squad loses a member.

A man with anger management issues is killed three different ways simultaneously, and death results when a teenage purse snatcher targets an elderly tae kwon do master.

Two drug smugglers find themselves in hot water in the South Pacific, and the CIA uses a gamma ray gun to eliminate a terrorist.

A peeper takes a bath, a pool hopper goes belly-up, the three soldiers get blown up, a gigolo goes gums up, a bachelorette takes a mouthful, a monk takes on a donkey, and a boy band hits rock bottom.

A crude boss takes a leak and bleeds out, a proctologist gets rear-ended, a liposuction between two friends goes wrong, a waiter makes a fatal mistake, a viking who crosses the line gets his back split open, a hippie who tries to save a raccoon gets road killed, and a woman who grabs attention of everyone during a thunderstorm, but bolts too quickly.

A meth maker loses face; a nudist has a killer diet; sorority girl swallows too much; survivalist gets the hook; spider makes a stud go thud; half-naked football fan gets freeze framed; two thrill-seekers lose their heads over piercings.

Two con men get blown away, a sushi chef becomes the butt of a joke and the deadly consequences of porn addiction.

A drug runner gets a heads up, a glutton goes belly up, a man-baby gets timed out, a nature hater gets turtle waxed, two stoners get bonged, a woman gets down and dirty and a man-hater gets feminated.

A robot maker meets his maker; an exhibitionist goes down in public; Houdini's last escape; a vomit lover gets chunked; prankster gets pranked; a B-baller finds nothing but death; a Hollywood star gets drained.

Organ donor loses a heart; someone gets swept away; trailer trashed; nymphos; wrestler hits the mat; mailman goes postal; rocker gets high.

Eating a live octopus; multiple orgasms; a hunter is hunted; soccer fan gets blown away; beauty loses a face; drug addicts get their heads cracked.

A salesman sells out; a coke head gets nosed out; phony preacher sees the light; a peeper gets hammered; a skate boarder face plants; corporate trainer takes a fall; a dummy gets offed in the woods.

Death in the 70's; a mean girl gets a chubby bunny; a juicer gets juiced; a thief bites his tongue; a groupie falls for a snake; Typhoid Mary goes down; a biker craps out.

A low rider is crushed, a dummy is taken out by nunchucks, Big Foot gets the boot, a bikini girl swallows something, and a jockey gets tossed.

Japanese rocker dies onstage; prison inmate blows escape attempt; sexiled roommate gets revenge; vain dancer sucks it up; dumb terrorists melt down; moronic hard hat falls hard; tall guy gets squeezed out in Medieval England.

A couple is antsy while on a safari, a braggart's new truck turns on him, a surfer is board to death, and a chess master meets his match.

A hat maker doesn't make it; tech-geek gets uninstalled; wannabe hip hop queen gets butted out; car jacker gets jacked off; a pretend gang banger gets body slammed; scam artist's plan gets crushed; agro dad gets blanked.

A crossdresser "wets" the bed; a gymnast makes a killer move; a greedy crematorium worker explodes; a man who drinks liquid cocaine gets a kick he never saw coming; a stewardess is way in over her head; a taxidermist gets squirrely; a pumpkin thief takes robbing to the heart.

A sign spinner spins out; a mob hit goes bad; cloud seeding gets rocky; recipe thief gets her goose cooked; a corporate spy hits the fan; tobacco chewer gets chewed out; mad scientist gets reanimated.

A murderer busts out of the nut house; big boobies do in a stripper; mean caretaker gets pickled; free runner runs out of time; softballer busts a gut; two hunters get dogged; Japanese game show contestant gets deep sixed.

A hairdresser swallows too many 'leg spreaders'; Katrina looters get a shock; 1920's pipe-hitting homeboys; phony doctor gets touched by a leper; a mistress loses face; a cell phone user gets disconnected.

An email scammer gets deleted; a hot co-ed flunks out; a grave robber digs his own; a war lord snorts crystal death; a couple screw themselves to death in mid-air; two losers suck and blow up; an old Nazi meets an old bullet.

A billionaire bottoms out; it's hard out there for a Russian pimp; gang bangers play doctor; a pyromaniac gets burned; an ice cream man gets iced; a bad actor needs a hand; a Greek gets his brass handed to him.

Death crashes a terrorist wedding; a big box falls on small heads; self-blood transfusion is never a good idea; a gangster spills his guts; a French killer loses his head; a very bad Santa gets iced.

A deadbeat dad goes through the roof; a stump lover gets eyeballed; a drinking game turns deadly; a dummy goes from spying to dying; video gamer gets pwned; a mover stops moving; a poser artist explodes onto the scene.

A jersey chaser gets plugged; OCD stands for "of course (you're) dead"; a terrorist eats himself to death; an animal abuser gets dog boned; a massage parlor patron has an unhappy ending; a bank robber loses his head.

A disco king hits the floor; a sauna contest gets gaseous; an upskirting perv gets busted; a meathead blows himself (up); a pot farmer gets munchied; a football coach splits his uprights; a drunk heckler gets fleshed out.

An annoying guy gets cut down, a stalker gets smoked out, a football fanatic goes down in barfight, a drug addict gets crushed, and a tomb raider goes batty.

A hot welder goes down on the job, an unfaithful wife can't cheat death, a '20s gangster gets steamed, and a mother-in-law from hell goes back.

A medieval German gets stoned, a bachelor gets butted out, a con man guru flames out, a dog hater gets boned, a juvenile delinquent hates Farmville.

A neo-Nazi opens a can of whoop ass, an epileptic stripper goes lights out, a voyeur gets hoodwinked, a stalker gets shafted, and a prankster's prank backfires.

Cheatin' hubby gets eaten by bear, old pervert sex-plodes, bride goes down at the altar, package thief gets anthrax surprise, insomniac commits a hit and run, bearded hipster drowns, drunk worker's pants explode.

A fake handicapped man gets what he deserves, a con man is frozen, a female wrestler goes down, a driving teacher loses control and a mine foreman explodes.

1000 Ways to Die presents a new award show special "The Deathies", featuring selected deaths:

Sexiest Death: "Blood Bath & Beyond" (Runner-Up A), "Gum's The Word" (Runner-Up B), "Washed and Fried" (Winner)

Historical Death: "Vike-O-Done" (Runner-Up A), "My Big Fat Greek Death" (Runner-Up B), "Back Stabbed" (Winner)

Death During Sex: "Gasketballed" (Runner-Up A), "Orspasm" (Runner-Up B), "Ass Phyxiated" (Winner)

Cosmic Karma: "Dead Meat-eorite" (Runner-Up A), "Road Killed" (Runner-Up B), "Steward-death" (Winner)

Worst Pervert: "Crib Your Enthusiasm" (Runner-Up A), "Mercury in Uranus" (Runner-Up B), "Vom-ate-dead" (Winner)

Sports Death: "Samurai Death Squad" (Runner-Up A), "Pam Caked!" (Runner-Up B), "Dead Eye" (Winner)

Dumbest Druggie: "Curl Up And Die" (Runner-Up A), "Fecal Attraction" (Runner-Up B), "Em-Bear-Assed" (Winner)

Dumbest Death: "Bitch Zapped" (Runner-Up A), "Midnight Choker" (Runner-Up B), "Boys 2 Dead" (Winner)

Most Painful Death: "Easy Slider" (Runner-Up A), "Bot-ily Harm" (Runner-Up B), "Bad Max" (Winner)

A dictator gets stuck, a security guard gets hosed, a rock climber falls, a cyclist runs out of breath and a circus clown meets an insane posse.

Politico has a sneezing fit, a gun toting old man blows up, a woman with road rage gets one in the gut, a shocking end for a convict, a dirty biker gets what they deserve, camper boils over with love for her friends.

A bank robber sticks his neck out for a friend, a red head gets taken down, a bad-ass teen meets a mail box, a shiester shopper takes a dip, a fat man loses face, a crazy ex gets ex'd out and a farting contest turns fatal.

A bouncer who got beamed, a Japanese rockstar causes suicide, a food vendor who gets deep fried, a chemical owner who tried to stop a leak, a drug smuggler gets a lethal tie dye, a mime who pickled up, a tennis girl who hit her target.

A guy tries to go viral by posting videos of girls shooting guns; a pretend superhero falls after trying to stop criminals; a bank robber tries to make off with cash, but gravely fails; an art thief holds an auction, and gets glassed; a supervisor tries to date an employee, but gets ground up; a sex blogger tries to give herself a hickey, and suffers a stroke when she stands; a paramedic gets high, then stops his heartbeat with a defibrillator.

A wedding singer gets choked up, a muscle woman meets her maker, a chef loses face and a French maid is stuck in an iron maiden.

A lady puckers up one last time, a tow truck driver becomes a head banger, a waitress gets a bad tip, a food critic forgets the point, turkey gets hit with a turkey, neck massager takes a woman's breath away, a dancer loses heart.

Cat lady's love goes too fur, a burglar falls for his victim, a mob boss is given the finger, a nasty super model is given a dead eye, a customer is left breathless by great savings, a guy rolls over the point.

Trainer and barbells meet; polygamist falls for his own trap; a couple wine and die; ticket scalper doesn't beat a light.

A man sexes up a statue, a sleep walker goes swimming, a rioter gets the wind knocked out of him and a man dies with a happy ending.

Socialite goes green, man with short fuse finally blows, woman high jumps to her death, crooked cop has the smell of decay, a wormy scam artist, trippy trip to the market, lame mad scientist gets burned.

A ferret goes up the eerie canal; a fat man squeezes into a baby swing; a female boxer goes down; a stoner gets launched; bad man takes an acid bath; a food fight turns deadly; tattoo artist swallows a chain.

A Chinese rapper gets grilled; a mini-golfer maxes out; a super lotto winner goes super nuts; a yoga teacher is a real gas; hipster goes down in slo-mo; a hacker gets hacked; a warden can't lock it down.

An exterminator gets exterminated, a stockbroker got magnetic in the stomach, a wedding crasher crashes through the glass, a thief gets a meathook, a black marketeer got blown up, a hijacker exploded by a semi-truck, a ghost buster gets busted.

A bicycle hater gets hit, milking a pig, a winded diva, a scavenger loses his head, a sexy way to break the copy machine and motel inspector stirs the dead.

A fitness instructor gets bounced, a bird smuggler gets the flu, coke mules are branded, a husband and wife take a hit, a computer thief crashes and burns, a moonshiner gets poked and a director makes a scene.

A tennis brat gets the shaft, a sadistic bank loan officer, a dead-eye sniper, ghost chili, a deadly infomercial, a jail break goes wrong and a cave man discovers fire.

A lazy husband goes on a roll, terrorists get gas, a germaphobe takes a deadly bath and death in the Jersey shore.

A strongman gets weak in the knees, a tease gets stoned, a filthy husband falls for a chain saw, a drunk wife crashes a sobriety party and a garage sale turns deadly.