A_Bear's_Christmas_Tail
The following is a comprehensive list of the episodes from Channel 4 impressions series Bo' Selecta!.
Series 1 (2002)
More information Episode, Title ...
| Episode | Title | Written by | Directed by | Viewers (millions) |
Original airdate | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | "Pilot" | TBA | TBA | TBA | Unaired (Unaired) | |
| Avid Merrion gives the viewers a tour of his studio flat, before setting out to track down his first crush, Davina McCall. | ||||||
| 1 | "Avid Loves... Davina" | Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman | Ben Palmer | TBA | 6 September 2002 (2002-09-06) | |
| Avid Merrion gives a tour around his studio flat, where his dead mother, Angelika, is in a wardrobe and Craig Phillips is chained up in a cupboard. Michael Jackson introduces his family. The Bear interviews Liberty X in his treehouse on Hampstead Heath. Mel B advertises her new book. Craig David provides an insight into 7 days of his life. David Blaine performs street magic for some lucky shoppers. Avid harasses Jade Goody in the street, then interviews Davina McCall. | ||||||
| 2 | "Avid Surprises... Penny" | Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman | Ben Palmer | TBA | 13 September 2002 (2002-09-13) | |
| Britney Spears tells us what she does on her day off. Enrique Iglesias berates Gareth Gates for his drunken behaviour. The Bear interviews Tess Daly. Michael Jackson and his assistant Bubbles (Caroline Flack) compete in blind boxing. Elton John learns to use the internet. Craig David takes on the world of medieval jousting. David Blaine helps a woman overcome her fear of chickens. Avid surprises Penny Smith in her dressing room on the set of GMTV. | ||||||
| 3 | "Avid Stalks... Michael" | Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman | Ben Palmer | TBA | 20 September 2002 (2002-09-20) | |
| John Lennon comes back to life and visits his widow Yoko Ono. The Bear interviews Terri Dwyer. Michael Jackson goes ice skating naked with chickens instead of skates. Avid meets Michael Ball in HMV to get his autograph and invites Vanessa Feltz to his flat for his mother's birthday party. Craig David visits the Hawk Conservancy Trust. | ||||||
| 4 | "Michael Jackson's Family Tree" | Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman | Ben Palmer | TBA | 27 September 2002 (2002-09-27) | |
| Michael Jackson introduces Janet Jackson for the first time; he tells The Osbournes to tone down their swearing. The Bear interviews Christine Hamilton. Avid's odd neighbour Ozzey discovers that he is keeping Craig Phillips hostage. Avid tries to meet Geri Halliwell at a book signing but is ejected but security guards. Craig David wants to break America, but mistakenly flies to Majorca instead. Avid meets Keith Duffy in a pub. David Blaine performs a trick in the street. Will Young is interviewed by a computer for Celebrity Test. | ||||||
| 5 | "Avid Oozes Over... The Hollyoaks Babes" | Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman | Ben Palmer | TBA | 4 October 2002 (2002-10-04) | |
| Destiny's Child go to a beauty salon in Bradford on their day off, where Beyoncé angrily criticises her bandmates. Michael Jackson dives with a chain around him, and has oranges hit at him by Bubbles. The Bear interviews Sarah Cawood. Avid meets Ethan Hawke at a book signing at HMV and sneaks into the British Soap Awards, where he meets several cast members, kissing a few of them. Craig David is expecting to film a music video, but it is cancelled. | ||||||
| 6 | "Craig David's Homecoming" | Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman | Ben Palmer | TBA | 11 October 2002 (2002-10-11) | |
| David Blaine tries to stay in a suspended ice block for a week; while Craig David comes home to Leeds and introduces his friends and family. | ||||||
| 7 | "Proper Bo' Selecta - Part One" | Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman | Ben Palmer | TBA | 28 February 2003 (2003-02-28) | |
| Highlights from the first series, as well as new footage and sketches, including Martin Bashir interviewing Michael Jackson. | ||||||
| 8 | "Proper Bo' Selecta - Part Two" | Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman | Ben Palmer | TBA | 7 March 2003 (2003-03-07) | |
| More highlights, new footage and sketches from the first series. | ||||||
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Series 2 (2003)
More information Episode, Title ...
| Episode | Title | Written by | Directed by | Viewers (millions) |
Original airdate | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | "Avid's Back... Back Again" | Leigh Francis | Ben Palmer | TBA | 6 June 2003 (2003-06-06) | |
| Jade Goody gives birth to a new baby; Craig David begins a sold-out tour; Katie Price airs an argument between members of The Spice Girls and Girls Aloud; Michael Jackson offers P. Diddy the chance to duet with him; Avid attends a celebrity football game where he meets Rod Stewart, and Gareth Gates has a weird encounter with Justin Hawkins. | ||||||
| 2 | "Avid Makes Love to... t.A.T.u." | Leigh Francis | Ben Palmer | TBA | 13 June 2003 (2003-06-13) | |
| David Beckham joins the Disney Club; Craig David runs into Michael Jackson and Martin Bashir on his world tour; Katie Price expresses upset over One True Voice's split; The Bear interviews Jennifer Ellison; Ricky Gervais surprises shoppers with an outbreak of dancing; Dale Winton goes live on GMTV; and Avid comes face to face with t.A.T.u. at an HMV signing. | ||||||
| 3 | "Avid Dreams of... Mis-Teeq" | Leigh Francis | Ben Palmer | TBA | 20 June 2003 (2003-06-20) | |
| Avid is arrested for stalking Vanessa Feltz; Craig David goes on a promotional tour for his new single; David Beckham learns how to ride a bike; Michael Jackson tries out some new international cuisine; The Bear interviews Kerry Katona; Ant & Dec find out what their latest task on Saturday Night Takeaway is; and Avid has dreams of meeting Mis-Teeq. | ||||||
| 4 | "Avid Meets... Westlife" | Leigh Francis | Ben Palmer | TBA | 27 June 2003 (2003-06-27) | |
| Avid's dream of meeting his heroes, Westlife, finally comes true; Keane surprise Avid with a visit; and Trisha Goddard helps out a group of motorists in distress. | ||||||
| 5 | "Avid Goes to the... Movies" | Leigh Francis | Ben Palmer | TBA | 4 July 2003 (2003-07-04) | |
| The Bear interviews Edith Bowman; Avid attends the movie premiere of Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, former Take That member Mark Owen makes an unexpected appearance and Avid has sex with a plastic model of Kim Cattrall and other members of Sex and the City. | ||||||
| 6 | "Avid vs..... Meatloaf" | Leigh Francis | Ben Palmer | TBA | 11 July 2003 (2003-07-11) | |
| The bear interviews Vernon Kay; Avid goes behind-the-scenes at Party in the Park; Meat Loaf challenges Avid to a sing-off; and Kylie Minogue finds herself caught in a bidding war for her old underwear. | ||||||
| 7 | "Avid on the... Radio" | Leigh Francis | Ben Palmer | TBA | 18 July 2003 (2003-07-18) | |
| The Bear interviews Davina McCall and Dermot O'Leary on the set of Big Brother; Michael Jackson scatters Barry White's ashes; Mel B gives a guided tour of her house; and Avid finally comes face-to-face with Chris Moyles. | ||||||
| 8 | "Craig David's Doppelganger" | Leigh Francis | Ben Palmer | TBA | 25 July 2003 (2003-07-25) | |
| Craig David discovers he has a doppelganger; David Sneddon gives his first live performance since Fame Academy; and Richard Madeley reveals details of his first encounter with Judy Finnigan, and how her ample assets have made his life brighter. | ||||||
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Christmas Specials (2003)
More information Episode, Title ...
| Episode | Title | Written by | Directed by | Viewers (millions) |
Original airdate | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | "Proper Crimbo!" | Leigh Francis | Ben Palmer | TBA | 21 November 2003 (2003-11-21) | |
| Avid reveals that he has recorded a single to compete in the Christmas charts, entitled "Proper Crimbo", and takes us behind the scenes of the music video, with stars including Matthew Wright, John Leslie, Bob Geldof, Dermot O'Leary, Jade Goody and Sting. | ||||||
| 2 | "Ho, Ho, Ho, Selecta!" | Leigh Francis | Ben Palmer | 2.61m | 23 December 2003 (2003-12-23) | |
| Craig David visits Santa Claus' grotto; Michael Jackson teaches Mel B the art of carol singing; Elton John delivers an alternative Queen's speech; and a number of famous faces join together for a choir recital. | ||||||
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Series 3 (2004)
More information Episode, Title ...
| Episode | Title | Written by | Directed by | Viewers (millions) |
Original airdate | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | "Avid and the... Spice Girl" | Leigh Francis & Kate Daughton | Ben Palmer | 2.82m | 18 June 2004 (2004-06-18) | |
| Avid gives a tour of his new chat show set and the people who work there, and he also interviews Emma Bunton; Paul McKenna is interviewed by The Bear; Mel B and Patsy Kensit share a house in a spoof of The Odd Couple, and Craig David starts filming his new video diary. | ||||||
| 2 | "Avid and the... Australian" | Leigh Francis & Kate Daughton | Ben Palmer | 2.42m | 25 June 2004 (2004-06-25) | |
| Michael Jackson starts a protest on the prison roof in Doin' Porridge; in The Odd Couple, Mel B annoys Patsy Kensit in the bathroom; The Bear goes to the pub with Bob Mortimer; and Avid interviews Peter Andre. | ||||||
| 3 | "Avid Learns How to... Be Cool" | Leigh Francis & James Le Frond | Ben Palmer | 2.66m | 2 July 2004 (2004-07-02) | |
| Avid tries to entertain Jack Osbourne with an afternoon in the Jacuzzi; and Keith Lemon has a proposition for Avid. | ||||||
| 4 | "Avid Falls in Love with... Nadine" | Leigh Francis & James Le Frond | Ben Palmer | 2.52m | 9 July 2004 (2004-07-09) | |
| The Bear becomes an agony aunt with Phil Vickery and Fern Britton on the This Morning set. Nick Cotton and Kat Slater argue in the laundrette in Eastendings; Craig David has trouble with his PR Manager; in The Odd Couple, Mel B and Patsy Kensit talk about the size of their breasts; and Nadine gives a live performance of her new single. | ||||||
| 5 | "Avid Becomes Obsessive with... Nadine" | Leigh Francis & James Le Frond | Ben Palmer | 2.50m | 16 July 2004 (2004-07-16) | |
| Avid interviews Sean Pertwee on his talk show set; The Bear goes camping with Lisa Stansfield in The Bear's Showbiz Tail, and Nadine returns to the studio to perform "No Limit". | ||||||
| 6 | "Avid and the... Coronation Street Threesome" | Leigh Francis & James Le Frond | Ben Palmer | 2.55m | 23 July 2004 (2004-07-23) | |
| In Doin' Porridge, Michael Jackson has some recreation time in the prison yard; The Bear and Jonathan Ross rehearse for "Bear: The Movie"; Avid meets Suranne Jones and Samia Ghadie on the set of Coronation Street; Craig David edits his new video for "Soda Pop" in the new segment of his video diary, and Mel B looks after Patsy Kensit when she is ill in The Odd Couple. | ||||||
| 7 | "Avid and the Trouble with... The Osbournes" | Leigh Francis & Kate Daughton | Ben Palmer | 2.53m | 30 July 2004 (2004-07-30) | |
| Avid interviews to Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne about their daughter, Kelly; in Eastendings, Kat Slater has a run in with Sonia's Dad, and the show then experiences technical difficulties caused by The Bear; Craig David throws a party for his single "Soda Pop"; it's Psychotherapy Day for Michael Jackson in Doin' Porridge; and in The Odd Couple, Patsy Kensit and Mel B exercise to a workout video. | ||||||
| 8 | "That One With Lots of Guests" | Leigh Francis & James Le Frond | Ben Palmer | 2.39m | 6 August 2004 (2004-08-06) | |
| Avid interviews a number of celebrity guests, including Myleene Klass, Vernon Kay, Dermot O'Leary and Craig Phillips. | ||||||
| 9 | "The Bear Takes Over" | Leigh Francis & Kate Daughton | Ben Palmer | 1.45m | 13 August 2004 (2004-08-13) | |
| The Bear takes over as host, and starts a band with James Bourne and Charlie Simpson from Busted; Craig David "Checks It Out" with Derek Acorah, searching for ghosts in a haunted mansion; Kat Slater has an argument in the garage in Eastendings; while Patsy Kensit gets drunk and thinks she has feelings for Mel B in The Odd Couple. | ||||||
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Christmas Specials (2004)
More information Episode, Title ...
| Episode | Title | Written by | Directed by | Viewers (millions) |
Original airdate | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | "Avid Merrion's Christmas Premiere" | Leigh Francis & Kate Daughton | Ben Palmer | TBA | 16 November 2004 (2004-11-16) | |
| Avid takes us behind the scenes at the recording of his second Christmas single I Got You Babe, on which he duets with Davina McCall and Patsy Kensit. Craig David also premieres the video for his new single, "Soda Pop". | ||||||
| 2 | "A Bear's Christmas Tail" | Leigh Francis, James Le Frond & Kate Daughton | Ben Palmer | TBA | 21 December 2004 (2004-12-21) | |
| The Bear decides to move out of his treehouse and find himself a family... but not quite everything goes to plan. | ||||||
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Series 4: A Bear's Tail (2005)
A Bear's Tail forms part of the Bo' Selecta narrative and is therefore considered the next series in the timeline.
More information Episode, Title ...
| Episode | Title | Written by | Directed by | Viewers (millions)[1] |
Original airdate | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | "The Good, The Bear & The Ugly" | Ben Palmer & James Le Frond | Ben Palmer | 1.95m | 8 July 2005 (2005-07-08) | |
| The Bear realises that he may have finally found his new home. | ||||||
| 2 | "Adventures in Bear-by-sitting" | Ben Palmer & James Le Frond | Ben Palmer | 2.00m | 15 July 2005 (2005-07-15) | |
| Now settled into his new environment and role as a sitcom star, The Bear learns to share his screen time with other actors. | ||||||
| 3 | "The Son of Bear-elzebub" | Ben Palmer & James Le Frond | Ben Palmer | 1.66m | 22 July 2005 (2005-07-22) | |
| Things between The Bear and Richard start to go down-hill, so in an attempt to repair their relationship, they attend a father and son counselling session. | ||||||
| 4 | "Meet The Bearents" | Ben Palmer & James Le Frond | Ben Palmer | Under 1.75m | 29 July 2005 (2005-07-29) | |
| The Bear meets his real biological parents. | ||||||
| 5 | "Blame it on the Bearboy" | Ben Palmer & James Le Frond | Ben Palmer | Under 1.56m | 5 August 2005 (2005-08-05) | |
| After overhearing a conversation between The Bear and Stephen the Squirrel, Richard learns that Helena is not really pregnant. | ||||||
| 6 | "Two Weddings, A Bear & No Funeral" | Ben Palmer & James Le Frond | Ben Palmer | 1.74m | 12 August 2005 (2005-08-12) | |
| While Helena and Richard celebrate their last night of freedom, Bear is sent to stay with cousin Kelly Osbourne. Helena and Richard get married at the same time as Dave and Sue. As the wedding takes place, even Bear can't hide his joy and makes up with sister Lilian after treating her like a supporting actress. | ||||||
Close
Christmas Special (2005)
Series 5: Bo! in the USA (2006)
More information Episode, Title ...
| Episode | Title | Written by | Directed by | Viewers (millions) |
Original airdate | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | "Avid in the U.S.A." | Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer | Ben Palmer | TBA | 13 October 2006 (2006-10-13) | |
| Avid and his wife Sacha talk about their move to L.A., and the celebrities who stay at their new hotel. Meanwhile, in the Michael Jackson Show, Michael pimps a bride. | ||||||
| 2 | "Avid Hangs Out With... Justin Timberlake" | Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer | Ben Palmer | TBA | 20 October 2006 (2006-10-20) | |
| Avid meets Justin Timberlake, while wolf-boy Ralph talks to Carlito about what it would be like to be with a woman like Sacha. | ||||||
| 3 | "The Bear and the Supermodel" | Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer | Ben Palmer | TBA | 27 October 2006 (2006-10-27) | |
| The Bear meets Victoria Silvstedt, and Sacha starts having an affair with Ralph the wolf-boy. | ||||||
| 4 | "Chris Martin's Donuts" | Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer | Ben Palmer | TBA | 3 November 2006 (2006-11-03) | |
| Avid catches Sacha kissing Ralph, whilst she's seeing Steve Guttenberg. Chris Martin has fun shopping for donuts. | ||||||
| 5 | "Avid and the... Movie Star" | Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer | Ben Palmer | TBA | 10 November 2006 (2006-11-10) | |
| Carlito tries to tell Ralph that wolf boys can't have relationships with humans after he becomes upset over losing Sacha. Avid and Sacha meet Dean Cain. | ||||||
| 6 | "Pete Docherty's Addiction" | Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer | Ben Palmer | TBA | 17 November 2006 (2006-11-17) | |
| Krishnan Guru-Murphy reports on Pete Docherty's latest addiction - peas. Plus The Bear finally gets a gig, presenting a chat show. | ||||||
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Special (2009)
More information Episode, Title ...
| Episode | Title | Written by | Directed by | Viewers (millions) |
Original airdate | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | "Cha'mone Mo'Fo'Selecta! A Tribute to Michael Jackson" | Leigh Francis & James Le Frond | James Le Frond | TBA | 24 September 2009 (2009-09-24) | |
| Michael Jackson introduces a documentary about his life, after his death earlier in the year, with contributions from Emma Bunton, David Gest, Paddy McGuinness and Peaches Geldof. This episode was dedicated to the memory of Michael Jackson. | ||||||
| 2 | "The Bear's Proper Chrimbo!" | Leigh Francis & James Le Frond | James Le Frond | TBA | 18 December 2009 (2009-12-18) | |
| The Bear counts down his top twenty all-time favourite Christmas-related music videos, including both of Avid Merrion's Christmas-related singles – "Proper Crimbo" and "I Got You Babe". | ||||||
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