Stan drives the family to Little Colombia to get Steve's library card laminated. While there, Stan impresses the family with his knowledge of Colombia and tells the story of how, as a reckless rookie CIA agent, Stan was assigned to take down a drug lord (who turns out to be Roger) who kept tricking him.

To teach Roger a lesson in obeying rules, Stan kidnaps Abel Tesfaye (better known as The Weeknd), who longs to live a mundane life away from the spotlight – and things get hairy when Roger takes The Weeknd's place as a star while The Weeknd becomes the family's newest house guest.

Steve finds out that Francine is still feeding him breast milk. Meanwhile, Roger becomes a documentary director, Stan gets his neck lengthened, and Jeff gets a chimpanzee face transplant.

Stan takes Steve to China to compete in e-sports against North Korea on an undercover mission to kill a North Korean general, while Francine, Roger, Jeff, and Hayley get stuck in a banister.

When Stan bumps into an old friend in a sub shop, he tries to change his mundane life after wronging him in the past. Meanwhile, Roger prepares for an upcoming cold.

Hayley tries to help Klaus get his citizenship by changing herself into a fish, but Klaus gets both of them deported to Mexico, while Stan, Francine, Steve, and Roger try to open a coconut that won't open.

In order to be taken seriously by others, Jeff, Francine, and Roger start a murder tour business.

When Stan gets injured by a satellite he begins to depend on Francine full time, while the other members of the family discover that Tuttle is a Korean reality show star.

Stan has game night with his family, and the other Smiths decide to wreck his winning streak when they have game night in Deputy Director Bullock's underground labyrinth. Meanwhile, Roger adopts geese to make foie gras (since foie gras is too expensive and most places have banned it due to concerns over animal abuse), but ends up fattening himself up with the feed used to stuff the birds.

Steve, Snot, Barry, and Toshi sign up for a paid scientific study to get calf implants after most of the money they saved up for it gets spent by Steve. Meanwhile, Stan is depressed over the CIA's janitor dying and uses the deceased janitor's leaf-blower to communicate.

Steve's attempt to befriend a foreign exchange student backfires, while Stan and Francine accuse Klaus of being out of control and hire a pet whisperer to control him.

Stan struggles to cope with the untimely death of his father; a simple canoeing trip does catastrophic damage to Hayley and Jeff's relationship.

Klaus announces that he is going to marry Shoshanna (the Armenian woman who lived in Steve's room as seen on "Cheek to Cheek: A Stripper's Story") and invites Stan, Roger and Jeff to his bachelor party. Meanwhile, a male stripper and his son refuse to leave the Smith house.

Worried that Hayley and the rest of the Smiths are getting too soft and dependent on creature comforts, Stan turns his house into a homestead, complete with farmland. Meanwhile, Klaus becomes a Scientologist.

One of Roger's personas falls in love with Dick and can't handle the subsequent breakup, creating havoc with his other personas.

Steve pushes Stan to trace the Smith family's ancestry, while Hayley and Francine go under cover to take down bad workers at Sub Hubs across America.

Hayley becomes a businesswoman, but Francine gets hired at the same office so she can bring her down. Meanwhile, Stan, Steve, Snot, Roger, Jeff, and Klaus plan a party.

Francine becomes hooked on Roger whispering to her. Meanwhile, Steve gets a rebar pole stuck in his head and mistakes a secret admirer letter he wrote to a girl for one a girl wrote to him.

Francine takes to fly-fishing, but Stan doesn't. Rather than admit that he's not good at it as she is, Stan dams the river and makes living the lake life as a new couple's activity. Meanwhile, Steve and Hayley solve the mystery of who Omar is when they find his height marks on the basement door.

The Smiths take a trip on an old steam locomotive to visit Francine's aunt, only to discover it's being hijacked. Meanwhile, Hayley and Roger follow a strange passenger.

In the milestone 300th episode, the Smiths kick Roger out of the house for ruining their chance to be on Family Feud, and the Golden Turd saga comes to its anticipated and long-awaited conclusion.

Stan is given a magical opportunity to make his dream Christmas come true after it goes terribly wrong.